Advice: Toxic Friendships

In relationships unfortunately there is point where it can become toxic and one sided. You are no longer open with each other and the interest that was once there is just gone. Relationships aren't always meant to last which can be a confronting truth. Cutting off a friendship can be difficult but sometimes it just has to be done. When you feel like you are always the one making effort or paying or the only one giving support, then it's time to reevaluate your loyalty.

I am an extremely loyal person, if we are friends I got your back no matter what. Although even I have a limit and there is a point where my own happiness has to come first.

It is always important to remember that time does not make a friendship. Just because you have been friends for years doesn't mean you have a good relationship. It might have been good or even great at one point but please remember people change and they mature.

You might be at completely different stages in your life and that is okay. The things that drew you together may be relevant to your life now and you find yourself with fewer and fewer things in common. Becoming aware that your friendship has reached it's expiry date is difficult.

Look out for:

  • You are the one always starting messages.
  • Making plans together is difficult and can takes weeks to set a date. As they don't have time for you.
  • When you do talk it's always about them.
  • You're always there to help them out of there troubles, however when you're upset or in trouble they have more important things going on.
  • Their birthday is a huge deal but they never celebrate yours.
  • Your common factor is no longer part of your life. Eg school, Uni, work, sport etc.
  • You don't agree with most of their decisions
  • You don't feel like you can speak your mind around them and have to be careful of everything you say.

If some if these points sounds familiar to you it might be time to re-think your friendships.

Until next time.


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Maira Gall